


home is where the heart is

by Hihoneyimdead



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Between Episodes, Character Study, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 17:44:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15913167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hihoneyimdead/pseuds/Hihoneyimdead
Summary: Halfway through the trip home, Fjord realizes that he thinks of the Mighty Nein as home. He stops and thinks, because home is a relatively new concept to him, and he wants to make sure that he has it right.





	home is where the heart is

Halfway through the trip home, Fjord realizes that he thinks of the Mighty Nein as home. He slowly stops the horse by the side of the road, thinks a bit, hops off, and leads the horse to a tree on the edge of the forest. He sits, and he summons the falchion, and he can almost see Molly’s smile buried within the metal. (In his mind, he pictures Molly going down with that smile, somehow optimistic in the face of death. But Fjord doesn’t know the truth, and he never will.)

He hears a rumbling _MOVE_ , but he doesn’t budge. He didn’t say goodbye to them before taking off to the coast. That’s one thing he never gets to do, say goodbye. 

Sure he told the others that he was heading out, but he didn’t tell them that he was heading out of the empire. Far, far away, where even Jester’s messaging spell couldn’t reach him. He needed the alone time. Time where he could talk to It without anyone looking at him all weird. Time where he could rage at a tree in the middle of a forest pretending it’s the bastard that stole him and Jester and Yasha because Fjord never got to chop his goddamn head off like he was planning. (Both he and _It_ were planning together. _It_ was weak, being so far from the ocean weakened _It_ considerably, but they planned. And they didn’t make it.)

Time to find Sabien. Maybe. Sometimes his memory is as murky as the water on that night. Sometimes _It_ makes it so, the bastard. 

_MOVE_ , It repeats, and Fjord still doesn’t budge. He’s tired. He hasn’t slept since he was rescued. Been on guard, just in case. Sleeping with one eye open and with the falchion in his hand, ready. It’s ready. _It_ is ready. He isn’t ready. He never was ready, and that’s always been his problem. He isn’t ready, and people get hurt. 

He holds the falchion up in the light of the setting sun. It catches the light and bends it like glass, painting his face a vibrant gold. It’s all that’s left of him. The cards, the gold, and the falchion. 

He can’t remember if the others saw the new falchion. Probably, they fight a lot, and he always has it summoned as they sleep. Just in case. But if they saw it, they never said anything. It’s like how Beau has the cards. No one said anything as she shuffled through them at the fire at night, tongue sticking out as she tried to figure out what the actual fuck they mean. No one said anything when they spent Molly’s gold at that apple cart on the road because the seller looked cold and maybe the extra cold could get them to the next town. Maybe. 

Fjord grips the falchion tightly as a cart rattles by, almost jumping to his feet. But it isn’t the Shepherds. It’s some family hurrying to town before night falls. He shudders at the tickling at the back of his mind and settles back against the tree. 

Jester has messaged him every night since he left, so he expects the message. But then it’s not Jester. 

**Yes, hello, Jester asked me to tell you that she misses you. And she ran out of spells because she did something very stupid.**

And then, almost as soon as Fjord was about to reply:

**Yes, I know it is me, but you can reply to this message. Jester says that you have to, or she will be very upset.**

And then:

**And Nott will be very upset. Because she misses you. So does Beau. Caduceus hasn’t noticed your disappearance.**

And then:

**I do not blame him, because you didn’t tell any of us of your absence.**

And Fjord manages a “Sorry, but-” before Caleb cuts in again. 

**Ja, whatever. Just get back here.**

Fjord can almost see Caleb’s small smile as he speaks. The one that means that he’s trying not to laugh at Jester as she makes funny faces at him. Fjord, as a sailor, knows that being with people for long enough allows you to learn things about them that they don’t even know. But all those things are usually learned over years, not over weeks. 

“Yeah,” he says, standing and looking towards the town on the horizon. “I’m on my way. Tell Jester I’m bringing donuts.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on my Tumblr, @woozlebucket !


End file.
